In order to be happy, there are certain things that you; yourself has to stop doing in order to get happy. We all have flaws that in turn affect us, rather it be talking about someone or always being late. These flaws do affect our mood and whether or not we can be happy. These issues are usually an underlining source to something else that is bothering us. Here are 10 things that you can stop doing that will make you more happier: (Image by Sean Molin Photography via Flickr)
People make mistakes. Taking responsibility when things go wrong instead of blaming others isn’t masochistic, it’s empowering—because then you focus on doing things better or smarter next time. And when you get better or smarter, you also get happier.
No one likes you for your clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, or your accomplishments. Those are all “things.” People may like your things—but that doesn’t mean they like you. Sure, superficially they might seem to, but superficial is also insubstantial, and a relationship that is not based on substance is not a real relationship. Genuine relationships make you happier, and you’ll only form genuine relationships when you stop trying to impress and start trying to just be yourself.
Holding on to what you think you need won’t make you happier; letting go so you can reach for and try to earn what you want will. Even if you don’t succeed in earning what you want, the act of trying alone will make you feel better about yourself.
Interrupting isn’t just rude. When you interrupt someone, what you’re really saying is, “I’m not listening to you so I can understand what you’re saying; I’m listening to you so I can decide what I want to say.” Want people to like you? Listen to what they say. Focus on what they say. Ask questions to make sure you understand what they say. They’ll love you for it—and you’ll love how that makes you feel.
Your words have power, especially over you. Whining about your problems makes you feel worse, not better. If something is wrong, don’t waste time complaining. Put that effort into making the situation better. Don’t talk about what’s wrong. Talk about how you’ll make things better, even if that conversation is only with yourself. And do the same with your friends or colleagues. Don’t just be the shoulder they cry on. Friends don’t let friends whine—friends help friends make their lives better.
The only thing you really control is you. If you find yourself trying hard to control other people, you’ve decided that you, your goals, your dreams, or even just your opinions are more important than theirs. Plus, control is short term at best, because it often requires force, or fear, or authority, or some form of pressure—none of those let you feel good about yourself. Find people who want to go where you’re going. They’ll work harder, have more fun, and create better business and personal relationships. And all of you will be happier.
Yeah, you’re more educated. Yeah, you’re more experienced. Yeah, you’ve been around more blocks and climbed more mountains and slayed more dragons. That doesn’t make you smarter, or better, or more insightful. That just makes you you: unique, matchless, one of a kind, but in the end, just you. Just like everyone else. Everyone is different: not better, not worse, just different. Appreciate the differences instead of the shortcomings and you’ll see people—and yourself—in a better light.
The higher you rise and the more you accomplish, the more likely you are to think you know everything—and to tell people everything you think you know. When you speak with more finality than foundation, people may hear you but they don’t listen. Few things are sadder and leave you feeling less happy.
The past is valuable. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others. Then let it go. When something bad happens to you, see that as a chance to learn something you didn’t know. When another person makes a mistake, see that as an opportunity to be kind, forgiving, and understanding.
We’re all afraid: of what might or might not happen, of what we can’t change, or what we won’t be able to do, or how other people might perceive us. So it’s easier to hesitate, to wait for the right moment, to decide we need to think a little longer or do some more research or explore a few more alternatives.
…More at Want to Be Happier? Stop Doing These 10 Things Right Now and Happiness In Seven Steps by Lee G Lovett
With these tips in hand start turning your life around and start being happy. When someone is happy people are likely to be more open to you and want to be around you more so that it rubs off on them.