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How to be Happy.

Getting to Happy

 

 

No Cop, No Stop, I Don't Care *Explored*In order to be happy, there are certain things that you; yourself has to stop doing in order to get happy. We all have flaws that in turn affect us, rather it be talking about someone or always being late. These flaws do affect our mood and whether or not we can be happy. These issues are usually an underlining source to something else that is bothering us. Here are 10 things that you can stop doing that will make you more happier: (Image by Sean Molin Photography via Flickr)

Blaming

People make mistakes. Taking responsibility when things go wrong instead of blaming others isn’t masochistic, it’s empowering—because then you focus on doing things better or smarter next time. And when you get better or smarter, you also get happier.

Impressing

No one likes you for your clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, or your accomplishments. Those are all “things.” People may like your things—but that doesn’t mean they like you. Sure, superficially they might seem to, but superficial is also insubstantial, and a relationship that is not based on substance is not a real relationship. Genuine relationships make you happier, and you’ll only form genuine relationships when you stop trying to impress and start trying to just be yourself.

Clinging

Holding on to what you think you need won’t make you happier; letting go so you can reach for and try to earn what you want will. Even if you don’t succeed in earning what you want, the act of trying alone will make you feel better about yourself.

Interrupting

Interrupting isn’t just rude. When you interrupt someone, what you’re really saying is, “I’m not listening to you so I can understand what you’re saying; I’m listening to you so I can decide what I want to say.” Want people to like you? Listen to what they say. Focus on what they say. Ask questions to make sure you understand what they say. They’ll love you for it—and you’ll love how that makes you feel.

Whining

Your words have power, especially over you. Whining about your problems makes you feel worse, not better. If something is wrong, don’t waste time complaining. Put that effort into making the situation better. Don’t talk about what’s wrong. Talk about how you’ll make things better, even if that conversation is only with yourself. And do the same with your friends or colleagues. Don’t just be the shoulder they cry on. Friends don’t let friends whine—friends help friends make their lives better.

Controlling

The only thing you really control is you. If you find yourself trying hard to control other people, you’ve decided that you, your goals, your dreams, or even just your opinions are more important than theirs. Plus, control is short term at best, because it often requires force, or fear, or authority, or some form of pressure—none of those let you feel good about yourself. Find people who want to go where you’re going. They’ll work harder, have more fun, and create better business and personal relationships. And all of you will be happier.

Criticizing

Yeah, you’re more educated. Yeah, you’re more experienced. Yeah, you’ve been around more blocks and climbed more mountains and slayed more dragons. That doesn’t make you smarter, or better, or more insightful. That just makes you you: unique, matchless, one of a kind, but in the end, just you. Just like everyone else. Everyone is different: not better, not worse, just different. Appreciate the differences instead of the shortcomings and you’ll see people—and yourself—in a better light.

Preaching

The higher you rise and the more you accomplish, the more likely you are to think you know everything—and to tell people everything you think you know. When you speak with more finality than foundation, people may hear you but they don’t listen. Few things are sadder and leave you feeling less happy.

Dwelling

The past is valuable. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others. Then let it go. When something bad happens to you, see that as a chance to learn something you didn’t know. When another person makes a mistake, see that as an opportunity to be kind, forgiving, and understanding.

Fearing

We’re all afraid: of what might or might not happen, of what we can’t change, or what we won’t be able to do, or how other people might perceive us. So it’s easier to hesitate, to wait for the right moment, to decide we need to think a little longer or do some more research or explore a few more alternatives.

…More at Want to Be Happier? Stop Doing These 10 Things Right Now and Happiness In Seven Steps by Lee G Lovett

With these tips in hand start turning your life around and start being happy. When someone is happy people are likely to be more open to you and want to be around you more so that it rubs off on them.

How to be Happy.

A Happy Spirit – Change Your Mood and Change Your World

letter c

To be a better you, you must change your mood. Being happy and not dwelling on situations that don’t go in your favor is the first start to getting on the path of joy and happiness. Your happiness is vital to your health and accessing a better you, so change things up and start by finding the positive in everything to bring out your happy spirit. (Image by Leo Reynolds via Flickr) Lee G Lovett’s, Happiness in Seven Steps will also shed new insight on how to be happy. Click HERE to read it now. 

The Alphabet of Happiness is a reminder of the many ways to access happiness in your life now. Though at times it may appear to be elusive, happiness is all around you — especially if you know where to look! The good news is that the more you focus on happiness, the faster you can activate the neural pathways that bring you more. Here are three ways to explore your own happiness that start with the letter “C.”

Choice

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” — Victor Frankel

While we cannot choose the challenges that life presents, we can choose how we deal with them. Choice is one of the greatest strengths people possess. By the thoughts you think and how you frame a situation, you can choose to be victim or survivor. By daring to dream and the little steps you take towards those dreams, you can reshape your future. You are more powerful than you know. Now, you can choose to use that power purposefully:
Choose to notice and focus on the good that is already in your life.
Choose to count your blessings instead of ruminating on your losses.
Choose to create your future rather than have circumstances determine your fate.
Choose to honor your gifts and share them with others.
Choose to be around people that nourish you.
Choose to be there for others, too.
Choose to focus on love over fear.
Get up each morning and say, “I choose to be happy.”
And choose to appreciate when happiness shows up in subtle ways throughout your day!

Connection

“Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect.” — Chief Seattle

Connection is one of our fundamental human needs. It’s also one of the building blocks of genuine happiness. Just looking at babies, it’s clear that human connection and love are just as important as food for the very survival of the species. We are social animals and we depend on one another to flourish and grow. Connection has others aspects too, and each one adds a new dimension. 

Creativity

“The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself.” — Alan Alda

Did you know that there is a well of creativity in you? People are not born creative or not — everyone has the capacity. Picasso says, “The chief enemy of creativity is ‘good’ sense.” Give yourself permission to just play with an idea.  And if self-doubt creeps in, (as it’s been known to do), the antidote is refocusing on why you’re doing it: for fun, for curiosity, for the love of being in the moment. Embrace your creativity however it presents itself. It will revitalize you, and remind you of who you are.

…More at The Alphabet of Happiness: ‘C’ – Huffington Post

Creativity is how I access my happiness. By creating something so beautiful and new fills me with a sense of tranquility and that feeling makes me happy to just sit back and look at a beautiful work of art I produced. Which of the three words starting with a “C” from the Alphabet of Happiness fuels you or will you begin to use?

How to be Happy.

Be Happy Alone — Learn How

Laugh more oftenIn order to be happy with anyone else or surrounded by anyone else; you need to be happy with yourself first. Everyone should be able to be happy alone to move forward in their life, this is the key to happiness. Once you are able to be comfortable with being happy alone, everything will work our great for you. Here are some tips on how to be happy alone. (Image by Celeste via Flickr)

  • Make a list of things that make you happy. Include both small and large things. Things that make you happy could include food from your favorite restaurant, watching a favorite TV program, listening to music, traveling or reading a new book. Then schedule these things into your life. If you are not comfortable going to your favorite restaurant alone, then order delivery or go pick up take out from that restaurant. If you really enjoy reading, schedule routine trips to the library or book store to stock up on your favorite reading materials. If you love traveling, don’t let being alone stop you. Start small and schedule a day trip to a local museum or event. When that goes well, that will give you the confidence to venture out on longer and longer trips by yourself.
  • If you can’t think of a lot of things that make you happy or you get bored doing the things on your existing list, then it’s time to try something new. You may find a new passion in your life. If you like cooking, try a cooking class at a local store or community college. If you like wearing jewelry, find a class at a local craft store where you can learn to make your own jewelry. Check in your local newspaper or community magazine for a listing of classes that you may be interested in.
  • It is often said that you will reap what you sow. If you spread happiness, you will get much happiness back in return. Offer to do some small favors for your friends or neighbors. You will get to know them better and will feel good in knowing that you are making someone else’s life easier. There are always non-profit organizations in every community that are looking for volunteers. You may meet some great people while volunteering and know that you are helping people and your community at the same time.
  • You may want to consider getting a pet. When you have a pet in the house, you are never truly alone. They will provide companionship and entertainment. If you choose to get a dog as your pet, you will get exercise taking them for daily walks. A dog or cat is great to snuggle with at night and they will always be happy to see you when you get home.
  • Make sure to treat yourself to keep happy. Cook your favorite dishes at least once or twice a week. Get your hair and nails done. Use good china and silverware when you sit down for a meal. Buy something every week that makes you happy. It doesn’t have to be expensive; it could even be your favorite bagel and cappuccino.

…More at How to Be Happy Alone | Pursuit of Happiness | How to Be Happy and Happiness in Seven Steps by Lee G Lovett

Now that you have these steps on how to be happy being alone, go out and start implementing them in your life. Pamper yourself and go enjoy a nice dinner by yourself.

How to be Happy.

Spread Love, Spread Happiness

One Dollar, Sir!Happiness is a big thing, bigger than what most would think of it as. Everyone all across the world wants to be happy so why wouldn’t you want to be. Being happy not only makes you feel better and betters your health, but it makes others want to be happy because they see how happy you are. You can easily make someone happy just by smiling and this is the key to happiness and passing it on. (Image by Stuck in Customs via Flickr) 

The United Nations declared March 20 the first International Day of Happiness, declaring that “the pursuit of happiness is a fundamental human goal.”

What specifically makes you happy? How do you make others happy? If your nation had a Gross National Happiness Index, as the Kingdom of Bhutan does, how happy do you think people would be? Why?

In “Happy International Happiness Day,”Harvey Morris writes:

The United Nations has declared March 20 the first International Day of Happiness to underline the commitment of its 193 member states to “better capture the importance of the pursuit of happiness and well-being in development with a view to guiding their public policies.”

…The initiative for Happiness Day came from the Kingdom of Bhutan, the small landlocked Himalayan state, which adopted a Gross National Happiness Index as a better measure of its people’s prosperity than its income.

Ban Ki-moon, the U.N. Secretary-General, marked the day by calling for a reinforced commitment to inclusive and sustainable human development.

“When we contribute to the common good, we ourselves are enriched,” he said. “Compassion promotes happiness and will help build the future we want.”

No one would deny the positive benefits of happiness, a state of mind that Americans have been pursuing as an inalienable right since the Declaration of Independence.

The Action for Happiness organization in Britain urges people to count their blessings. “People who are grateful tend to be happier, healthier and more fulfilled,” it says. “Being grateful can help people cope with stress and can even have a beneficial effect on heart rate.”

…More at What Makes You Happy? – NYTimes.com and Happiness In Seven Steps by Lee G Lovett

Let’s begin to be grateful and start on a journey to long, beautiful happiness. Pass happiness on to one another and just smile.

How to be Happy.

Finding, Understanding and Cherishing Happy Moments

Angels Are Messengers From GodMost of us have hectic lives and are just trying to speed through them to the fun stuff. Maybe we should slow down and find some fun in those things that we are doing. We have to produce our own happy moments. I can say myself that I have found a way to enjoy the busy pieces of my life and have made happy moments to look back on. (Image by Thomas Hawk via Flickr)

One of my favorite mantras is “not busy.” Why? Because I strive not to be “busy.” I am usually very good at keeping my time focused on doing the things that are most important to me, the things that will give me the greatest feeling of accomplishment at the end of the day. 

Rushing around to finish a mile-long to-do list can undermine my happiness as much as not getting anything accomplished at all. And when I find myself going in a million different directions, I try to remind myself: “not busy.”

It allows me to slow down (if only in my head), which, of course makes everything flow much more easily. It helps me appreciate that I am exactly where I need to be in every moment. It helps me remember that I always have a choice when looking at any situation.

I find that I am most likely to feel stressed when I’m doing stuff that doesn’t seem “important” — you know the mundane things like running errands and housekeeping. And that fits with something else I’ve learned, because what I’ve realized most is that a happy life is made up of happy moments. And that doesn’t mean those rare, big-ticket happy moments, like getting the publishing contract or the new car.

Happy lives are made up of the quotidian variety of happy moments, like reading a novel, or petting your cat in that special spot that makes her purr. Again, I think it’s especially important that we place a priority on scheduling time alone to “refill our well” — especially during busy times like the holiday.

Understanding this leads to an even more important understanding: the power to choose our thoughts gives us the power to choose joy in any situation.

…More at Happy Moments – How not to be busy | Midwife for Your Life Blog and Happiness in Seven Steps by Lee G Lovett

Whatever you can do to make yourself happy will produce happy moments. To stay happy you have to throw in things that you love when doing something that may not be enjoyable. By having that happy moment will soon make it enjoyable.

How to be Happy.

How To Think Positive – Keys To Happiness

Think PositivePositive thinking is an important factor in your life. By thinking positive you are putting yourself in the position to better your health. Negative thinking can harm you because of the effect of the actions that you may make while thinking negative. Having a negative attitude overall will just slowly but surely impact your health, so here are some steps on how to think positive to achieve joy and happiness. (Image by Wavy1 via Flickr)

We’ve been told that one of the keys to becoming a successful leader and to creating a successful life is to see things as they are and not worse. But if you’ve been beaten down and suffered setbacks such as unemployment, it’s hard to see the positive. 

If you truly believe that regardless of what you do today, it won’t positively impact tomorrow, you are destined to fall short of your potential. Keep the following six concepts in mind to eliminate learned helplessness:

1. Change is possible. If you don’t think your finances or life can improve, then you won’t take any steps to make them better. You must first open your mind to the possibility that your current financial situation actually can improve. If you are still having a hard time accepting this, ask if it is possible for your life to get worse because of steps you take. If your life can get worse as a result of your actions, there’s no reason it can’t get better too.

2. Think big. Think outside of your self-imposed restraints. If you think big enough, you will have the motivation to take the initial steps and the fuel to keep progressing even in the face of challenges and disappointment.

3. Get perspective. If your friend were in your situation, wouldn’t you encourage her to think about her situation objectively and to take whatever action that is appropriate? What would you tell her?

4. Set goals. Just the act of setting goals will help you overcome the feeling that you have no control over your future. The energy and thought process required to set goals will get your mind thinking in a whole new way.

5. Achieving successes. One of the best ways to overcome the belief that your actions don’t affect your future is to start achieving small successes. While goals must be big and motivating, there should also be small and achievable goals along the way.

6. Consider a different viewpoint. Dr. Seligman’s research on learned helplessness inspired him to look at optimists and pessimists and examine how both types of people explain good and bad events. In his book, Authentic Happiness, he writes that, “Optimistic people tend to interpret troubles as transient, controllable, and specific to one situation. Pessimistic people, in contrast, believe that their troubles last forever, undermine everything they do and are uncontrollable.” In short, if we can change the way we explain the events that occur in our lives, we will be less likely to suffer from learned helplessness.

You do have influence over your life. Even if you don’t believe it right now, act as if you do. Start small so you can begin to see how your actions produce results.

…More at 6 ways to get out of your rut – CBS News also, check out Happiness in Seven Steps by Lee G Lovett and carve your rut into pieces.

By using these tips and thinking positive, not only will you have change in your life but you will impact others who want to know how you’ve began to think so positively and you can refer them to these tips here.

How to be Happy.

Definition of Happiness

A Little Ray of SunshineJoy and happiness is what we all search for, but the real question is what exactly happiness is. Do we all have our own personal definition of happiness that we live by. This article explains what others believe happiness to be and what you should think of happiness being for you in your daily life to achieve happiness. (Image by aussiegall via Flickr)

Mired in this over stimulated environment, we are constantly reminded of our own inadequacy. (Oh, you finally lost those 10 pounds after giving birth six months ago? That’s nice. Gisele did it in two weeks. See this morning’s Google alert.)

Is it any wonder that so many of us devour books on happiness, open our wallets for life coaches and wellness retreats, and generally remain grumpy despite all the things we do have, always chasing that elusive state of “happiness.”

And, what is happiness, anyway?

Happiness: a state of contentment; a pleasurable or satisfying experience.

Although, pleasurable and satisfying experiences sure are nice, I believe the Webster definition doesn’t really set our society up for success. I’d like to go out on a limb here and share my own definition of happiness:

Happiness: a timeless state of contentment due to embracing the control you have over your state of mind.

There are 86,400 seconds in a day. It would be really hard to be in a blissful state of mind each and every second of every day, but we get to choose which seconds define our day, our week and our lives. It is that choice and that control that I believe is true happiness.

Whether it’s a new computer or a new relationship, these external sources, although enjoyable, can distract us from our inner source of happiness — our control over our state of mind.

Happiness is not dependent on what the number on the scale says or whether you get that promotion at work or marry your college crush. Happiness is the ability to recognize and be okay with the fact that you won’t always feel — well — happy. Sometimes things don’t work out. Sometimes we screw up. Sometimes, truly terrible things happen. If you can allow yourself to experience negative emotions, you will recognize that temporarily feeling bummed out about life’s small and sometimes large disappointments are natural and do not have to permanently distract or define you.

Knowing that you control your happiness and that no one can take it away from you or define it for you leaves you in charge.  One great nonfiction book to read that helps you get to your “happy place” is Happiness in Seven Steps by Lee G Lovett. Available at Amazon or click HERE to order a copy. 

…More at The Craze Behind ‘Happiness’ – Huffington Post

This is what I believe to be the definition of what happiness is and if you choose to believe this definition your life and state of mind will change for the better.

Old Formula with Great Results, Peace + Love = Happiness

 

 

 

Achieving Peace Love HappinessWe all want peace, love and happiness. Not just one of those three, but all. The thing is we need to step back and realize what each one offers and what all three ofthem can do for us. We ultimately want what is best for us when it comes to our mental state of mind, and these three things are best.

“A state of well-being and contentment,” isn’t that our ultimate goal as humans? Have you ever wondered what makes you happy and why you do the things you do? Basic needs for survival are a given, like food and shelter; everything else you do are things that are intended to make you happy or keep you from becoming unhappy. Agree? Nobody wants to be miserable (although I bet you’ve met some people who seem that way!). The problem is most of us get so caught up in our daily grind that we lose sight of why we do what we do.

WE WANT PEACE LOVE HAPPINESS, we just forget to remember.

Oh, it’s not that easy, is it? Unfortunately not, but new research from the science and psychology of happiness worlds shows that those words – Peace Love Happiness – may not be so unreachable after all.

What Determines Happiness?

How you choose to respond to this data is up to you. The pessimist will not be too thrilled that most of their ability to be happy is predetermined and therefore won’t want to make the effort to improve. My guess is though that YOU are reading this because you care about living a happier life and are excited that a significant forty percent of your level of happiness is in your hands!

So now what? Where do you start? Start with STRONG DESIRE. You gotta want it! Find it hard to get motivated? OK, here you go – happier people are more sociable, energetic, charitable, cooperative, better liked, more satisfied with their work, make more money, they are overall healthier with stronger immune systems and they live longer! Motivated now? If not, then read no further. I wish you all the best.

The most powerful force in the Universe is love. Follow Mr. Anthony’s advice; commit to rid yourself of your self-inflicted emotions of anger and hate. The more you gain control of your negative emotions, the easier it will be to love. Decide to love yourself first, then love your spouse, love your family, love your friends, love everybody. The power of love is profound and contagious. Spread the love and peace will follow. Don’t set out to change the world, concentrate on yourself, but spread the knowledge to family and friends. Do your part to make the world happier one person at a time. When there’s more love, peace will flourish.

True long-lasting Peace Love Happiness can only come from within. External material things are like a drug, they make us want more and more but they will never give us the eternal Peace Love Happiness high we all crave. Don’t get me wrong, I love nice stuff. All things being equal, I’ll take the mansion, luxury cars, boats and beach houses, but be happy within foremost and the nice stuff will come your way much easier.

…More at Happiness In Seven Steps by Lee G Lovett and  Peace Love Happiness

Now that you have the tools necessary to obtain peace, love and happiness, begin obtaining it and spreading it all around to others.

The Path to Health to Happiness

Do It Yourself HappinessHappiness is what we are all searching for on our journey of health to happiness. We want to feel good about ourselves every day if we can. Knowing that there are steps out there that can help us along this path makes things even better. This should bring a chuckle and some happiness to you right away knowing there are tips to get you going fueled with joy and happiness, and here they are. (Image by the half-blood prince via Flickr)

“Top Tips” to happiness that we can follow to start seeing a difference:

Wake Up Happy– As you wake up, take a few moments to become aware of the world around you; feel of the bedding, the quality of the light in the room, the sounds in the house and the sounds outside. Tune in to your breath and prepare yourself for whatever is coming next. Take a minute or two just for yourself. Gaze out of the window and take in the sounds of nature or the city – the world is waking too.

Find Peace – sit quietly for some time each day so that you have the space to pause for long enough to recognize and connect with how you really are. Practice mindfulness meditation is a way of bringing gentle and kindly attention to the moment by moment experience of sensations in the body, emotions and thoughts.  Sometimes the rush of everyday life can force you to  lose touch with yourself, and this in turn means you are less in touch with your children, husband, colleagues, and the environment around you.

Spend time in nature– Our lives are full and complex and giving ourselves time to connect and feel the ground under our feet gives us a place to stand. Step aside from constant doing by giving yourself time to be in nature, by running for the pure joy of running, or by immersing yourself in music.  When we do this we find that we naturally connect in kindly ways with people around us. When we connect with ourselves we are discovering more deeply what it is to be human. It is easy to empathize with and be kind to others when we are in touch with this. We then don’t need a goal or a resolution to make us think of others – it comes naturally

health and happinessImage by AlicePopkorn via Flickr

Mindfulness Meditation – Practice meditation to recognize these moments when our minds are slipping into unhelpful negative habits that we have rehearsed many times in the past. Take some time just for yourself. Follow your breath and settle inside yourself. These are rare moments, time just for you.

Spend more time with family – spending time with people we care about. There is a happiness that goes beyond momentary pleasures. It is an ease that arises within us when we connect with ourselves and our world with care and kindness, and we allow our speech, our choices, our actions in the world to align with this connection and kindness.

Live for the moment – If we have a practice like mindfulness that supports us in recognizing our moment to moment experience, we will be able to spot ourselves falling into old patterns, and so open the possibility of being able to step back, to disentangle ourselves and to take care of ourselves at these difficult times, which in turn helps fend off depression

Giving to others – Small acts of kindness really do help to make a difference in the world. This can be achieved by donating to charity, volunteering or helping an elderly person cross the street.  Research clearly shows us that the good feelings that come from giving arise for both the giver and the receiver. Indeed the giver is the one who gets the biggest boost of good feelings – researchers track this by measuring shifts in serotonin and dopamine in the brain.

Be Kind to Yourself – Kindness isn’t something that we can just offer to others. It isn’t possible to sustain kindness if it is only being offered outwards whilst our own internal environment is filled with criticism and negativity. The kindness can take many forms – allowing ourselves to feel sad can be a deep kindness – particularly when our usual pattern is to berate ourselves for feeling this way; making less demands on ourselves when we are feeling troubled; or seeking out what we need to nourish ourselves like the company of a good friend, or some solitude, or rest, or exercise.

Take up a hobby or learn a new language – Joining new activities support us to see the world in new ways, with fresh eyes. For many, the default can be to stay within our comfort zone. Exploring ways that we can gently push our edges, challenge ourselves is a great way to nudge us towards new possibilities. How we gently challenge ourselves will be different for each of us – it might be a new job, taking on a new hobby, taking a mindfulness course, or volunteering. Strange though it may sound, for some it might involve doing less – deliberately creating spaces that don’t have an agenda, slowing down. 

…More at Ten top tips to happiness – FemaleFirst.co.uk and check out “Happiness In Seven Steps” by Lee G Lovett for a complete guide for achieving happiness.

With these steps at hand you are ready to conquer the world with a new happy attitude that everyone will compliment.